Words Can Create Defining Moments

The words we tell ourselves can be the words that we heard at a very young age - usually from someone important to us. The message behind those words can burn into our soul, suffusing us with pain, fears and false guilt, or with confidence, peace and joy.

Words can echo in our hearts and minds years after they were spoken - lifting us up, or bringing us down. Even long after that person has been gone from our lives, their words can ring in our ears.

I love to write but, as I begin, my heavy heart races, and my hands grow cold. I take a minute to yield to the panic, take some deep breaths, and tell myself to just start, and work for 5 minutes. Then the urge to convey what's on my mind takes over, and I can continue.

photo by Budgeron Bach

What was the origin of this phobia? As a small child, my mother was my teacher at school. From time to time, she would humiliate me in front of the class, attributing to me the mistakes of others, so that she could criticize without alienating their parents. This was so many years ago, and she has been gone for over 20 years, yet I still sometimes struggle whenever I face a new writing opportunity.

Words have power.

In my early life, there were people who praised me, who loved me, who were excited by my accomplishments and let me know it. My father, my grandmother, my music teacher, and my local minister all let me know that I was special, and that what I had to offer was special.

Words had power here too.

Lifting Our Moods

photo by Humphrey

Of course we need lots of distancing and mask-wearing, and we know that the biggest deterrent for COVID-19 is simply to stay home if we can. No unnecessary trips outside, but being inside can create a pressure-cooker for our relationships; resentments can build.

Fresh air can be an asset!

“If you are in a bad mood go for a walk. If you are still in a bad mood go for another walk.” ― Hippocrates

Some of us may be lucky enough to live near fields or forests, mountains, oceans or lakes, but most of us live in cities. Fortunately, many of us have a park nearby. We can go there, or at least find a wider, quieter street if possible.

Think Vitamin D and negative ions, which lift our moods, clear our minds, and help us maintain a positive outlook.

Activity shakes loose our pent-up feelings, so that we can release them and be able to see our relationships in a warmer light.

Compassion

I was woken up around 5:30 in the morning recently. A clearly distraught woman was persistently, angrily, and hoarsely raising her voice outside.

I bolted alert to see if I could tell if she was in trouble, or danger. It didn't seem so. I tried to get back to sleep.

Silence for a bit, followed by another loud interruption. Her tone was one of fear, anger, rebuke, agitation - defiance mixed with powerlessness, and she had a lot to say.

I got up and looked out a window to see what was happening.

By the street was a woman sitting on the sidewalk, insistently crying at a group of four emergency response workers in full PPE, who were standing over her as she ranted.

Ours is a short, quiet residential street. I recognize all my neighbours, but I didn't recognize her. She clearly needed help, as the morning was chilly, and she was clearly troubled.

Then I saw a lovely thing.

One of the EMTs sat right down on the sidewalk beside her, and waved his partners away. He listened to her carefully and unhurriedly as she explained her troubles. Her tone became quieter, and they shared a gentle discussion, presumably about the next best steps for her.

After a few minutes, the caring fellow helped her up, into the back of their vehicle, and they drove off. I was reminded of how important training in de-escalation is for all of our first responders, and how valuable they are to us.

I said a prayer asking that all the other caregivers she met that day would treat her with the same dignity, patience, and compassion.

The Healing Power Of Tapping

The months are grinding on. Our lives continue to be interrupted and sidelined. Somehow, we must carry on and cope.

photo by Samantha Klose

I have been benefiting greatly from the work of Nick and Jessica Ortner, leaders in the field of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), or Tapping. This practise is deceptively-simple to do, and truly transformative.

I am currently working through the tapping sessions offered in Nick's book: "The Tapping Solution for Manifesting Your Greatest Self."

I am humbly aware that we are forever a work in progress. I find myself tapping on a regular basis, as there seems to be so much unresolved history and so many layers of feelings that I need to clear away. Tapping does that!

What We Can Do

People around the world now face an uncertain future - unprecedented struggles and in far too many cases, tragedy and loss. We share a deep sense of helplessness as we are isolated from one another.

photo by Ekaterina Bolovtsova

What can we do? All that we can.

The media is flooded with heart-warming stories of people rising above and beyond for others during these terrible days. It helps to focus on these stories, and to be open to any ways that we also can contribute.

Wherever possible - in letters, emails, phone calls, etc. - we can do our best to replace fears, anger, and grief with words and actions rooted in love.

We can listen. We can care.

We can shore up our inner resources. We can take more time for quiet reflection and take stock of our path. We can express our creativity in some new ways. We can determine to live in a state of gratitude for what we do have. We can decide to let go of old resentments, or fears that no longer serve us. As we fill our souls with more warmth, we can be more ready to be there for others as they need us.

Maybe we will be brought down by illness, or called upon to grieve, or to sit with others as they are frightened and grieving.

Together we struggle to find meaning in these tragedies, and that is what we can offer - to be there, whether in person, in spirit, or in prayer.

It is at these times that our deepest values emerge.

The Magical Camera Cap

photo by Tobit Nazar Nieto Hernandez

We all have stories to tell.

What happens to us matters.

We want to share our experiences and have them validated.

We want to have our accomplishments and our imaginings seen and appreciated.

What do children so often say? “Look at me! Look at me!”

How satisfying to feel heard, seen, known, and appreciated. These experiences foster our trust that others are interested, and care.

How great it could be to have our thoughts elevated to a Big Screen, for all to enjoy. Gnarly's Journey fulfills this wish. The characters take turns entertaining their group with creations from their imaginations.

“When storytellers put on this Camera Cap, and tell a tale, their story plays out, scene by scene, on our magical imagining screen." - Bubby

The Wishing-Well Well

In my book, Gnarly's Journey, I thought of a number of different customs enjoyed by the elves and their friends. They established routines and traditions to help them deal with challenges, celebrate each other, and bolster the closeness of their community.

One of these customs is the Wishing-Well ceremony, in the Wishing-Well room. The room is there for whenever a member of the group feels the need to work something out. It could be a problem, or maybe an idea, or an aspiration.

photo by cottonbro

The ceremony is a group effort - to create an atmosphere where they all help each other, to identify and solve their issues, then continue their discussion until they can wish each other well.

This custom highlights the difference between our world and that of the elves. For most of us, throwing coins in a fountain, and making a wish, is a solitary passive activity. The person tossing the coin is not encouraged to change or to take any further action. In the Wishing-Well room, the characters practise solving their problems.

I heard a child psychologist on Oprah say that children feel more free to chat about difficult topics when they are engaged in an activity at the same time. He suggested colouring.

Looking Ahead

This year, there will be challenges, as there always are. Whatever I face, I aim to find new strengths - new ways to grow.

From where can I draw inspiration and encouragement to meet whatever lies ahead?

1. I determine to redouble my efforts to connect with family and friends, conscious of making memories and developing rewarding ways to draw closer to others.

2. I am reminded this time of year of how many great thinkers and leaders there are, to encourage our growth and cultivate our wisdom. So many authors over the years have comforted me, inspired me, and helped me over difficult terrain. I will continue to seek teachers and guides who meet me where I am, help me to clarify my sense of purpose, heal some hurts, and share my journey.

3. Time to regroup, and consider what I want to realize this year. What changes I need to make, to help me toward my goals. In a smaller way, how can I make each day count more?

4. I resolve to remember to go inward, taking time for my own reflections and increasing my awareness. We are all so much bigger than anything we think, or feel, or experience.

These things are transitory, and we are the constant behind them all. They pass, and we remain.

Sometimes our greatest inspiration flows from our intuition. When I am struggling with a challenge and the solution isn't immediately apparent, I like to ask my computer brain to work on the issue while I sleep. Very often I have the answer in the morning.

Merry Christmas!

We at Old York Publishing wish that Everyone will have a Most Extraordinary Season, filled with Happy Connections and Joyful Experiences.

November - A Special Month for Goodwill Around the World

Nov. 13 is World Kindness Day every year

Participants attempt to make the world a better place by celebrating and promoting good deeds, and pledging acts of kindness. Over 28 nations are involved in the World Kindness Movement, which began in 1997.

Nov. 17, 2019 - The Annual Santa Claus Parade

Over half a million people lined the parade route in downtown Toronto, to watch the floats, bands, clowns, and more, go by - a huge family and community event.

Nov. 17-23, Anti-Bullying Week

In the UK, this third week of the month is observed every year, with news and updates spread around the world.

Nov. 22, 2019

"A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood," a movie about Mr. Rogers, starring Tom Hanks, opened.

Nov. 23, 2019 - We Day

Neil Patrick Harris hosted a huge televised event - "A Celebration of Doing Good". Moving videos were highlighted, which told stories of caring young people who found innovative ways to help and encourage others.

Nov. 27, 2019

The Minister of Education for Ontario announced that the government is undertaking a 5-pronged approach, addressing bullying in our schools. He tasked the PC MPP for Scarbourough Centre, Christina Mitas, with overseeing the surveys and reports requested.